Relationship Anarchy: Autonomy, Attachment, Consent
What relationship anarchy is (and isn’t): values, boundaries, and consent for people who won’t fit a script—therapist-first, ND-friendly.
The Shapes of Polyamory: Kitchen-Table, Parallel, Solo, and Why Names Help
Therapist-led psychoeducation on common ENM structures—how naming the shape lowers conflict and clarifies consent for everyone.
Community Consent: What Sex-Positive Spaces Get Right
Translate event-level consent culture, capacity checks, clear exits, and real repair, into everyday intimacy at home. Therapist-led, ND-friendly.
Power Exchange vs Power Over: Ethical Dominance Without Coercion
A therapist’s guide to ethical dominance; consent as capacity, clear limits, and accountable repair; so power feels safe, not coercive.
Top Drop, Sub Drop, and the Neurochemistry of “After”
Therapist-led psychoeducation on “drop” as a state change—not a failure. What’s happening in your body, and how to land without shame.
Switching Roles, Staying Safe: Consent for Switches
Psychoeducation on role fluidity for switches—state-based consent, mid-scene renegotiation, and dual aftercare needs, ND-friendly and therapist-led.
CNC Without Confusion: Ethics, Capacity, Off-Ramps
AASECT-aligned psychoeducation on consensual non-consent: capacity checks, revocable consent, and repair—scripts for pauses and clean endings, no technique.
SSC vs RACK vs PRICK/SSICK: Consent Frameworks That Fit Your Brain
Therapist-led psychoeducation on SSC, RACK, and PRICK/SSICK—through a trauma-informed, ND-friendly lens. Scripts for capacity checks, pauses, and debriefs.
Enthusiastic Consent When Words Are Hard (ND-Friendly Communication)
Therapist-led psychoeducation for consent without performance. Preloaded phrases, signals, and debrief prompts for ND and trauma-impacted folks.
Touch Hunger, Touch Overload, and Who Gets Held
Touch deprivation is a health issue. Learn justice-centered ways to ask for more (or less) touch, plus scripts for mismatched needs without shame.
ADHD, Meds, and Sex Drive: Timing, Dopamine, Desire
Low libido? Or too much at the worst time? Evidence-aware guidance on ADHD meds, timing, and ND-friendly pacing to align desire with your body.
Aftercare for Everyone: A Five-Minute Nervous System Reset
Aftercare isn’t just for kink. Try a five-minute, trauma-informed cool-down that builds safety, connection, and prevents the post-sex crash.
How to Stop Dissociating During Sex
Dissociation during sex isn’t dysfunction—it’s protection. Learn trauma-informed, ND-friendly tools and partner scripts to stay present for pleasure.
Decolonizing Your Sexuality: Reclaiming Your Body from High-Control Systems
Your body was never the problem. Religious institutions, family systems, and cultural norms weaponize shame to control your sexuality and autonomy. Discover how these messages get embedded in your nervous system and practical tools for reclaiming your right to embodied pleasure—especially for neurodivergent, queer, and traumatized bodies.
When Your Body Ghosts You During Sex
Ever found yourself physically present during sex but mentally gone? Your body going through the motions while you're counting ceiling tiles? This frustrating disconnect isn't a sign that you're broken—it's your brilliant nervous system trying to protect you. Let's dive into why your body sometimes "ghosts" you during intimacy and how to reclaim your right to embodied pleasure.
The Pleasure Shutdown:
If your body’s ever gone numb mid-sex, dissociated during a kiss, or felt like pleasure was just too much to handle—you’re not broken, babe. You’re having a nervous system response. This blog unpacks how trauma, religious shame, and high-control conditioning hijack your pleasure circuits—and how to reclaim them using polyvagal theory, parts work, and radical nervous system care.
No More Performance: What If Your Healing Didn’t Have to Be Pretty?
What if your healing didn’t need to look calm, pretty, or spiritually evolved? What if rage was sacred, grief was necessary, and emotional messiness was the actual medicine? This week, we’re dragging the healing industrial complex and reclaiming what it means to get free—on your own terms, in your own damn body.
Smash the Binary, Save the Sex Drive
What if your sex drive isn’t low—it’s just sick of performing gender?
This week on Untamed Ember, we’re breaking up with the binary and reclaiming pleasure outside the tired-ass scripts of “dominant vs submissive” and “masc vs femme.” From heteronormativity hangovers to queer power dynamics gone rigid, we’re exposing how gender roles sabotage sexuality—and how to rewire your erotic brain for curiosity, consent, and actual turn-ons. If you’ve ever felt boxed in by your role in bed, this one’s for you.
patriarchy and pleasure, gender roles and sexuality, shame and sex, queer relationship dynamics, sexual liberation, unlearning purity culture
Sexual Shame Wasn’t Invited, But It Showed Up Loud Anyway
You didn’t wake up one day and decide your body was a problem. That sht was planted. Watered. Fertilized with shame. This post is your rage-fueled permission slip to stop performing, start reclaiming, and take your damn pleasure back—with science, sass, and absolutely zero apologies.
Who Gave the Patriarchy a Microphone?: A Shame Detox for Your Search Bar
Shame didn’t start with you—it started with centuries of systems hellbent on keeping you disconnected from your own damn pleasure. In this fiery, trauma-informed deep dive, we break down how patriarchy, purity culture, and colonial control shaped your shame story—and how to rewrite it with science, sass, and unapologetic self-trust. Because your pleasure isn’t a problem to fix. It’s a revolution to join.